by November Tuesday

We never made it to Bennigan's* that night.

I am not sure whether I like or hate the way I relish these moments as conquests, comparing my desires with who has not yet filled them, thinking that I am a powerful woman and that, like the Madonna song goes, I always get my man. But that I did.

I said "I hate being the idea of this other woman but I really want to kiss you right now."

I said it that way because I know that it would have floored me and turned me on so much, for its physical and sensual bluntness in the middle of that rather theoretical discussion, and his reaction was the same. It was the sort of shy intensity that made me feel weak, even though I was lying on the floor.

Fucking him is exquisite. He is everything Alex* and Randy were not, and even Adam. He is huge and wide and when he is inside me I KNOW it, and he fucks me so hard, and deep and masterful - all the way in and all the way out - there is no mistaking the fact that his powerful body is fucking me and I LOVE it. I try to describe to him why I like it but it always sounds silly.

But he fucks me while they make love or have sex, and it satisfies me in a way that they couldn't.

That first time I lay below him, clenching that hard girth of him inside, and his hair fell down like a solid silky cloud over our faces, and it felt like I was underwater, under deep warm water, looking up at his distorted face that was beautiful when he came.

He makes delightful fuckfaces, mouth open, eyes closed, head tossing side to side all that silky gorgeous hair of his, and he arches back and moans and opens wide and winces and grimaces. He is beautiful in a way that weed's dullness and excess weight can't hurt, those piercing blue eyes with wide lashes and strong, straight brows, and a sensual mouth that responds nicely to a gentle finger tracing its curve. He has a marvelous cock that swells and thickens in the middle and which is a pleasure to hold in my mouth.

Last night I decided that I was going to do him senseless. I took his shirt and jeans off and kissed him all over until he was raging and hard, and I teased licking first through his briefs, letting the wetness trail through, then I got him naked and kissed him all over, flicking and biting and moaning with pleasure. He lay so sexy, god, there is no way I could want a woman more than a man, because to see a man lying prone and hard and thighs so tight and hands big and relaxed and waiting - oh, god, such pleasure.

I worked all over his body, licked his inner thighs and balls and mouthed them, I sucked him as he writhed and tensed and moaned and breathed jagged, and stopped; artfully and confidently I took the band that he uses to pull back his hair and I did my own hair up in a knot so I could suck him without my hair inthe way, and I sucked hard, artfully, cupping his balls, and again and again I'd go and stop and go and stop and then I got up and ordered him to lie still on the floor and I got ice from the freezer and tortured his nipples with it, relishing the lovely shriek he made, with a guttural growling undertone, and when the cube melted enough I put it in my mouth and sucked him, and I iced his nipples down, and kissed him and finally I retreated into the bathroom and put the ice cube inside myself, and then I impaled myself on him, waiting for his face to register the shock of where I'd put it, and then I laughed and fucked myself on him deliberate and hard, moaning, lost in the sensuality of penetrating myself on his huge cock. It was incredible. In the end, and the end came quickly, he threw his head back and reacted exquisitely.

I am a very sexually satisfied woman, for now.

*All names and identifying information have been changed to protect the identity of myself and others.